The short answer
The relationship with your counselor is the most important thing in counseling, and trust can take a little while to build. If something does not feel right, tell your counselor: that conversation often becomes part of the work. And if it truly is not a good fit, we are glad to refer you to someone who is, inside the practice or outside it.
From our FAQ.
The full answer
Jonathan: What if my counselor doesn't feel like a good fit?
Martha: That is so legitimate, because it's a relationship, and the most important thing in counseling is that relationship between the counselor and the client, and that can take a little while to develop. And so I hear this question from parents: my teenager doesn't want to come to therapy. Should we try a different therapist? And there can be so many reasons behind that. It can take a while to develop rapport, so sometimes it's beneficial to hang in there with that. But I always encourage parents to set up a parent consultation, a parent session with the counselor, and talk to them about it, because they need that information to understand. They can adapt their approach. They can take that feedback and use it in the session to really challenge: what's going on? I want to know what's happening in the relationship. And they can use that feedback to make a different referral if it truly just isn't a good fit, and our counselors can handle that. That's good for the client and the counselor. So as much as possible, we want to talk about it in the counseling room.
Jonathan: And I totally agree. If people are willing to hang in there and share and express, “Hey, something's not feeling right,” or “I'm confused about something,” those misunderstandings sometimes really become opportunities for growing, or new experience that can actually be part of the therapy process. I like to tell my clients specifically: at any moment, you can ask me why I'm asking you to do this, or you can express that you're not sure. It doesn't hurt my feelings. If you're doing good therapy, we really are helping facilitate people getting to new places and different places, and that's always a little awkward.
Martha: It is, and it is an opportunity for growth. And then sometimes it's not a great fit, and someone is really feeling like, “I need something and I'm not sure you're the person to deliver it,” and that's valid. We don't hesitate to make a referral, whether it's within the practice, if we have someone, or it's outside of the practice. And we want to do that well, because they've already done some work in therapy, so we want to do that well.
From the Wellspring podcast, episode 2: Finding the Right Counselor · Watch the full episode